A Lady's Journal of Whims and Observations

There has been an absolute dearth of goings-on of late. The ennui is unbearable. Even the society pages have had to resort to reports of the most vulgarian nature. What is a “Snooki”?

The highlight of the past few weeks has been a trip to the cinema. I have seen an enthralling kinetoplay called The Woman in Black which is a startling contemporary tale about ghosts who behave reprehensibly. I dare say that being dead is no excuse for poor manners.

The coming week brings promise of excitement, at least. I have an engagement on Wednesday to try the latest hairstyling fashion, and luncheon with Mrs. S___ in the days following.

Most enjoyable time with friends last night. Watched a remarkable kinetoscopic play called American Psycho in which a rather foppish young man was driven to extremes of envy over the calling-cards of his colleagues. I do not think he handled himself quite well at all, but then again the colonists have always been a bit gauche.

Had more of that Italian bread and cheese dish. It seems to be quite the popular thing of late. I asked Mother to mention it to Cook and she looked at me askance. I would discuss it with Cook myself but I can never seem to find her…

After weeks of dodging missives from the odious Miss H__, I have been forced to do the Right And Sociable thing and agreed to luncheon with her. Having endured a rather miserable bowl of carrot and lentil soup and Miss H__’s usual one-sided conversation, I am hopeful that I will be able to avoid any further such engagements for several months.

I must confess that Miss H__ is always a source of the most scandalous gossip, frequently affiliating herself with the most inappropriate gentlemen and then bemoaning the fact that none seem to find her marriageable. I was of a most inspired opinion on this matter but forced myself to stifle it in the interest of good manners.

I wonder if there is any treacle-tart. I shall ask Cook.

Enjoyed a most leisurely weekend, punctuated by an excursion to the library with Mother. I have reason to believe she was on a most sinister quest, as I overheard her asking a librarian about obtaining books for kindling. The librarian said that she could have up to ten books at a time for kindling, as frequently as she liked. Both of them were positively fixated by a small black device that Mother had in her handbag. This is bound to be yet another of Mother’s occult instruments, and I am horrified beyond measure.

I obtained a novel for my own pleasure, which I most certainly do not intend to burn. It was disappointing to see that there is still no new serialized work from Mr. Dickens. He must be suffering from some crisis of imagination. I do hope he is soon able to overcome it.

Wretchedly ill today. The malaise was so oppressive that I was confined to my chambers for the better part of the day.

Mother tells me that the local apothecary has a thrilling new device called a “Red Box” which dispenses facsimiles of the latest kinescopic plays. She asked if I thought it might be worth having a go at, and I said I wondered whether there was any end to the public’s fascination with the occult. She made a remark which I didn’t quite catch but which sounded something like “why must you be this way?” I am sure I have no idea what Mother could possibly mean.

I grow weary and must retire. Perhaps I shall feel well again on the morrow.

Absolutely torrential rain today. I wonder if this is what monsoon season is like in India. I asked Father to tell me what it was like in India during his time with the tea-trade, and do you know he looked at me as if I had not spoken English!

Went to the local Postal Authority this morning to dispatch a parcel to my dearest friend Mr. K__. It is liberating to ferry myself about, but also quite tiring, particularly in such inclement weather. Furthermore it seems a bit common. Perhaps I should consider employing a coachman. 

No great plans for this afternoon. I should apply myself more sternly to the practice of the pianoforte. I have been trying to learn a new piece of music which originates from a most whimsical kinetoscope called Sunshine, in which a group of “astro-nauts” attempt to travel to the sun. O the folly of man!

Luncheon today with Mrs. S__. Enjoyed an exotic new bread and cheese concoction from Italy. The conversation was delightful as always, and I am confident that I have been kept abreast of the most scandalous gossip.

Caught in rain on the way home, and I without an appropriate parasol. It was just a mild shower, however, and I do not believe it will interfere with my evening constitutional.